one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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