Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
