hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
