i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
