As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
