i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
