NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
