Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
