I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
