halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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