I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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