honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
When did angry sex become our thing?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
