So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
