sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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