What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
