And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
