Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
worst night to have a conscience
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
