Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
