yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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