How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
