yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
