Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
