no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
