his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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