The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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