shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
