There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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