i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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