went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
