Where is the hickey?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
