Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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