Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We need to get me chipped asap
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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