I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
