Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
