I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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