The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
