Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
