Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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