yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
