Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
