Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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