She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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