we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
