Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
