i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
only you would photoshop your dick
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i believe in u and ur pee
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
