you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
