she kept yelling 'call me bella'
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
