That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
