sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
