sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
