soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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