So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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