So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
How does it feel to date your dad?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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