Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
